infiltrationtools: (TOKYO ⛓ain't no killer like pride)
JOKER / Akira Kurusu ([personal profile] infiltrationtools) wrote in [community profile] cetana 2020-01-03 03:28 am (UTC)

...I'm tired of uphill battles because every time, I fail.

[No matter where he is. No matter who goes with him.]

In that stupid bunker, I tried everything I could think of to get those people out. Nothing worked. That operation was airtight, and innocents died. Then we got here, and some of them came back and died again. I tried to round us into a cohesive group, and nothing ever worked. I trained as hard as I could because Arsène—Joker—he said we weren't strong enough, and he was right, and I did everything I could but I'm still nowhere near Kido and you. And then Christmas came around and I just...

[Akira winds a hand into his hair. He looks around and the gnarled landscape they find themselves in.]

Last Christmas was the closest thing to Hell that this planet could ever get. And I think about the person I was then and the person I am now, and I think maybe I keep failing because I lost something along the way.

[He can't give up, but he can't keep going. And he can't ask for help, because that means admitting that he's weak.]

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