Does it matter? It's still me, and people still died.

[ He gets it's not his fault, but the factors that played into it are— namely the power imbalance, the carelessness that got him brainwashed in the first place, his lack of will to shrug it off. ]

I made lots of people cry... I got yelled at a lot, my foot stomped on and face slapped and whatever... It was hard to care about anything. I didn't understand anything and I couldn't feel anything... That's the sort of stuff I'm remembering.