[ He could try to be better, but... no... The change is slow, when he could be and do whatever he wanted all these years. He didn't have to prove himself, or push himself to be noticed, or have a reason to be more than who he is. Even now, with people looking to him, he shies away instead of stepping up.
He's capable of being a good person. He's capable of being a good Attendant; he could lead a team into the dungeons and wipe it out in a matter of seconds if something forced his hand, but he doesn't. There's just... something holding him back. It's that same thing that sets him apart from the rest of the Guests, he thinks. There's little difference between him and everybody else, he thinks, but he's the one who is shackled here. Every time he goes outside, he falls in love with the world... but the Velvet Room is where he belongs, and he isn't allowed to abandon it. Even going outside and hanging out with people, he can never stay out there too long, because he's supposed to be in the Velvet Room, he has a duty and he's bound to it, even if he's no good at it. It's not fair. He wants to live too. He wants to play games and eat out and chat about nothing, but in the end, he's duty bound to a nameless, faceless, unknown master that he cannot escape from.
They don't need him. They'll be fine without him. But if he shirks his duties and runs away, all he'd be doing is abandoning people he'd come to like. You don't need somebody, to still want them there. He knows that. It's hard. It's easy to let all that go, say that nothing matters, and pretend not to be bound by anything. ]
...yeah. I guess.
[ He really hates this sometimes, the idea that he has to be better, the idea that he's not good enough. ]
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He's capable of being a good person. He's capable of being a good Attendant; he could lead a team into the dungeons and wipe it out in a matter of seconds if something forced his hand, but he doesn't. There's just... something holding him back. It's that same thing that sets him apart from the rest of the Guests, he thinks. There's little difference between him and everybody else, he thinks, but he's the one who is shackled here. Every time he goes outside, he falls in love with the world... but the Velvet Room is where he belongs, and he isn't allowed to abandon it. Even going outside and hanging out with people, he can never stay out there too long, because he's supposed to be in the Velvet Room, he has a duty and he's bound to it, even if he's no good at it. It's not fair. He wants to live too. He wants to play games and eat out and chat about nothing, but in the end, he's duty bound to a nameless, faceless, unknown master that he cannot escape from.
They don't need him. They'll be fine without him. But if he shirks his duties and runs away, all he'd be doing is abandoning people he'd come to like. You don't need somebody, to still want them there. He knows that. It's hard. It's easy to let all that go, say that nothing matters, and pretend not to be bound by anything. ]
...yeah. I guess.
[ He really hates this sometimes, the idea that he has to be better, the idea that he's not good enough. ]