[ Mondo opens his mouth, but promptly closes it again. He's made a decision to tell everyone he cares for about his past back in Wonderland, because they deserve to know. They need to know that he's capable of a blind murder, and need to be warned for it. What happened back home wasn't the only time he's lost control. Like the fight with Terry... even if he didn't kill Terry (and he technically can't, anyway), he completely lost control of himself.
Kido needs to know.
He must tell her.
But his voice won't come out even when he finally reopens his mouth.
He's afraid. It isn't like Wonderland, where he can detach himself and let them go, where he could think that even if they didn't want anything to do with him anymore, he deserved it. That hasn't changed, and it's not like the people he met in Wonderland mean less than the people here. But he's finally found a place where he belongs here. A gang, which goal isn't to break but to protect. It's the closest thing to family he could ever have.
He told Terry. He told Rei. But that was because he didn't have control in his emotions.
But Kido... it's hard. She has grown to be a figure that he looks up to, and cares for so incredibly much. He doesn't want to fail her. He doesn't want to disappoint her. He's lost count of how many times Kido's given him a push on his back, how much she's supported him with her direct, straightforward remarks. She has never adorned it with lip service, and that's what makes him feel he can trust her so.
There's no way he can tell her right now. He isn't ready for this.
He turns away, trying to avoid meeting Kido's eyes as he gives her light smack on her back. ]
...Heh. Thanks, Danchou. I know I can always count on ya.
[ This is where he should say 'ya can count on me too, aight?' but nothing comes out. He can't say it today. It's so hard when he knows he's lying to her, even by omission, when she trusts him so. ]
no subject
Kido needs to know.
He must tell her.
But his voice won't come out even when he finally reopens his mouth.
He's afraid. It isn't like Wonderland, where he can detach himself and let them go, where he could think that even if they didn't want anything to do with him anymore, he deserved it. That hasn't changed, and it's not like the people he met in Wonderland mean less than the people here. But he's finally found a place where he belongs here. A gang, which goal isn't to break but to protect. It's the closest thing to family he could ever have.
He told Terry. He told Rei. But that was because he didn't have control in his emotions.
But Kido... it's hard. She has grown to be a figure that he looks up to, and cares for so incredibly much. He doesn't want to fail her. He doesn't want to disappoint her. He's lost count of how many times Kido's given him a push on his back, how much she's supported him with her direct, straightforward remarks. She has never adorned it with lip service, and that's what makes him feel he can trust her so.
There's no way he can tell her right now. He isn't ready for this.
He turns away, trying to avoid meeting Kido's eyes as he gives her light smack on her back. ]
...Heh. Thanks, Danchou. I know I can always count on ya.
[ This is where he should say 'ya can count on me too, aight?' but nothing comes out. He can't say it today. It's so hard when he knows he's lying to her, even by omission, when she trusts him so. ]