cetana | ten-faced, cetana version.

Entry tags:

ten-faced, cetana version.

I - 11/17: early morning, torii dimension (locked to Sasuke)

[ Terry had been a zombie for several days, and in complete stasis, despite the numerous wounds he was bleeding from that have never healed. It doesn't look like he's been bleeding while here though and he finally opens his eyes for the first time in days. ]

Where am I...?

II - 11/17: afternoon to evening, town

[ Terry lost all his memories. Good thing he and Orien met up. Maybe Sasuke also relayed the basics to him too. Either way, Orien got him a fresh set of clothes after Terry cleaned himself in the bathhouse. He's no longer a bloody mess. Orien is being a good tour guide and telling Terry where everything is, what he did, etc. Orien is treating this like Terry has been leading a normal life here. Don't fuck it up. He has glasses on too, since Orien brought that over as well. ]

III - 11/18: morning, torii (locked to Sasuke)

[ Terry regains all his memories. Everything. It takes so much not to lash out and he's started to feel desperate after experiencing the events on the 17th. He hides in the forest and revisits the torii. Please let him in. ]

IV - 11/19: lockdown, fear floor (limited to 2 people)

[ It's a ruined city. If you've seen Terry's memory floor previously, you'll see that it's the same city as before. However, there is no ongoing destruction. Everything has already happened. You'll see three people: Terrence, who stands at a distance from the other two, Terry who seems shell-shocked by something, and... another Terry? It's Shadow Terry, making a reappearance, grabbing a hold of Terry's collar and yelling at him.

It's a mess already. There's a reason this is the fear floor. ]

V - 11/23-25: black cat house, around town

[ A) Black cat house: There is a big, fluffy samoyed dog in the crane room that's looking down at the 30+ cats and petting them with his paw.

B) Around town: And now there's a big fluffy samoyed dog prancing around town that's petting cats again. Some cats have mixed responses to the petting. If he sees you, he'll give a short howl before staring at you. His omamori is completely hidden in his poofy fur, but if you dig through his fur, you'll see a glimpse or the usual red-brown that peeks through all the white. It's like a collar with a name tag... without the name. ]

VI - 11/28-29: around... town

[ Terry woke up inside Toki's body and he is having such a bad time. You can most likely find him lying down on the ground somewhere in town for one of many reasons. ]

wildcard

[ The following is a summary of what's happening to Terry:

11/17: complete mem loss
11/18: semi mem loss
11/19-22: shadow terry
11/23-25: samoyed terry, lose sense of direction
11/23-27: petting cats
11/28-29: switch bodies with toki

For any questions or anything else, contact me by PM or

celenza ! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Nothing great comes out of being in the dungeons. If Kido giving Nekogami so much agency was a problem, that's nothing compared to the way Kano lets Ala drag him back to the dungeons.

Especially when he sees Terry there, knowing that this is a guy who's just like Jiro: he wouldn't hesitate to punch Kano in the face and kill him a dozen times simply out of the frustration of not being able to escape a floor. Shit sucks. He turns himself into a small black cat and trots at Ala's heels, going around to find cover so they can eavesdrop.

Dungeons suck, but he's always here for eavesdropping... ]

[ This is supposed to be a fear floor, but all Terrence can feel from this place is shame from how stupid his clone is and complete boredom. So when he notices Kano and Ala coming, he swaps Kano's perspective to show the worst memory Terry received: the one with the frottage. Here you go, Kano. You can experience this too.

While Kano suffers through that, Ala can hear Terry and his Shadow arguing back and forth about running away and what good will it do him now. ]

[ gdi Terrence, do you have any idea how long that memory is? Mental anguish may as well be physical pain. It's distracting enough that Kano's just going to be curled up in a ball with his hands covering his face for a good several minutes, while Ala can also sort of feel everything he is, but she just gives him a weird look and leaves him behind, inching closer to where Terry and his Shadow are speaking.

She does't want to interrupt, but she doesn't want to sneak up on them either, so... it's just her, hands clasped behind her back, walking calmly up to from the front.

Yo. What the fuck is going on here. ]

[ Terrence will have several of them queued up, following with the makeout, hand licking, and then making Kano relive his worst memory with all its sensations too. He's decided to make Kano his plaything now. Ganba, Kano.

Meanwhile, Shadow Terry sees Ala coming and drops Terry to the ground because he is tired of holding him up. ]

☈ He started doing the very thing he said he wasn't going to do, but he chose to get rid of his memories because living in bliss for the first day wasn't fucking enough.

[ Kano is a masochist but not like this... At least he gets to see his mother, I guess. That's nice. Her dying in front of him in a pool of blood isn't.

Ala also gets to experience all of that and it's really annoying, but all she does is give Terrence a ??? look before turning back to what she deems is more important than Kano's suffering. ]

Mm... Memories are kind of very important though, aren't they? They make you you, and you can't just throw them away, Boss!

Edited (terry is the sadist) 2019-11-14 06:07 (UTC)

☈ Yup, he knows that and that's exactly why he did it. He hates himself so much, that he just wanted to delete those parts that made him that way. He almost killed his girlfriend, ruined his family, and probably reversed one of his few friendships here. He's running away when it matters again, which leads to him just ruining his own life while dragging others down with him.

[ Shadow Terry sits on Terry's back with absolutely no remorse. Shadow Terry has the copper ring on his finger (finally) because having a human form allowed it. ]

☁ You know... when I told you not to run away last time, I meant for things that matter. Not every single thing. Why do you never use your judgment well... that's why you got caught up in doing population control and doing all those things you hated.

[ Terry doesn't understand, so he doesn't say anything. ]

☈ ... It really pisses me off that he doesn't understand anything I'm saying because he already deleted those memories. It feels like I'm ranting at a wall.

[ Seeing the copper ring on his finger makes Ala smile, one that reaches her eyes instead of simply worn. All of this is kind of confusing to her too, since Kano usually takes care to stay away from Terry's business unless there's a door to steal, but they pick things up from gossip here and there. People leaving the lake covered in blood. The looks on their faces.

Ala crouches down in front of Terry, smoothing down her dress and resting her arms on her knees. ]

I don't know the full details either, Boss, so I kind of get what you're feeling! But you know Vassago, don't you? You trust him, don't you? To help support you and everything.

[ Terry looks away and doesn't say anything. He doesn't understand what Ala means by that either. Shadow Terry can only sigh. ]

☈ It's no use, Ala. He won't figure it out. He's too old that he's gone senile and forgot all the important parts. This is the last straw. I'm taking over. He wasn't meant to live so long.

Wait, what?

[ She jumps to her feet to address Vassago instead, because if Terry doesn't remember anything, he's pretty much useless. ]

He doesn't even remember that? Everything you and everybody else went through? How much of himself did he throw away?

☈ ☈ ☈ A bunch.

[ He lets out an irritated sigh. ]

☈ If I take over, I might as well be more whole than he is right now. He's just hollow now, a decorative shell of whatever he wanted to be, not experiencing whatever that comes out of that.

It sure looks that way... I don't want you to lose any more of yourself either. What were you thinking, Boss...?

[ Despite just having gotten up, she drops back down into a crouch so she can hold Terry's face in her hands and squash his cheeks a little. ]

Boss... You probably don't remember me, huh? My name's Ala! I'm Shuuya's Persona, and he's the one you don't understand and gave up trying to understand. I don't get you either but I don't want to give up. So, Boss? Can you tell me? What do you remember? What do you like enough about yourself and your life, that you wanted to always remember?

I like... a bunch of things...

[ Terry can't list them. He really is incomplete. ]

I thought I could be happy by forgetting all those things, but nobody wants me like that. They want me to remember everything. I don't remember what those were, but all I know is that they were so painful and people resented me. I just wanted to be happy... there's nothing happy about what I threw away.

[ Shadow Terry doesn't even look at him as Terry cries into his arms. ]

[ Ala feels a bit like crying too, hearing all this, glancing up at the Shadow but he's not looking down and so she can't catch his eye either. Leaning back a little, she digs a bandaid out of her pocket, and sticks it on the back of Terry's left hand. He won't get what it's about, but that's okay. ]

Of course people are upset. All those painful memories you threw away, they were a part of them too. You threw parts of everybody away, not just yourself. Maybe they weren't happy, maybe they were painful and things you never want to remember, but they were all important, weren't they? That's why it feels empty instead of happy, when you don't have them.

[ Kano's memory montage is now over, but now Terrence is making him feel like an actual cat and he's making him dance by moving his hands around. The torture never ends...

Vassago looks at Terry, because he knows. Terry wants to say why he deleted them in the first place, a more concrete answer, but Terry can't say it. However, his Shadow can. ]

☁ He used to love this world, no matter how bad it got. No matter how many times I killed back then, he still loved this world and his friends.

☈ Then he fucked off for thousands of years and his mind isn't meant to live that long under continuous stress of constant rejection. He's already past his expiration date. Then he came here, was happy, then other shit happened, he got rejected again, his mindset didn't help, and he completely lost it. He lost all his memories for a day and decided that it felt better not knowing anything compared to how much suffering he felt knowing everything, so he decided to lock them away before he ends up destroying the world too.

[ He glances down at Terry and leaves his arm wide open. ]

☁ So that Hirajiro doesn't end up like this sad state. No one wants to be associated with a murderer.

[ Kano gets to be the dancing cat he didn't get to be from canon. He looks pretty resigned about this whole this, which isn't as much fun as it could be. Ala can feel his dejection all the way over here, but sorry, Kano, she's busy listening to Vassago and trying to think of what to say.

She can't relate to thousands of years. She doesn't really get how Terry can destroy the world. He's so unhappy already, that he's giving up. Vassago, at least, hasn't given up, and she can trust him more than Terry not to throw away everything he has. Personas are meant to protect the user, after all. Kano is fine back there, he doesn't count. ]

Well, I don't want the world to be destroyed... So don't do that, okay, Boss? But, you know, Shuuya's done a lot of horrible things too. He's killed a lot of people, even if most of 'em were't intentional. He hates the world so much. He hates everybody in it, aside from two or three people. But somehow, there's still two or three people who like him, and within him, somebody like me can exist. So you're not a lost cause, Boss, don't ever think that! You've got Vassago, right?

Then talk to him instead! I don't want to hear all this!

[ Shadow Terry grabs a fistful of Terry's hair and pulls his head back. ]

☈ You need to hear this. You need to know what you threw away, your consequences, and who you hurt. You need to face your mistakes. The world back home may have given up on you a long time ago, but there are still people here that are willing to be with you, despite all your failures. Don't lose hope--

I'm sick of hoping.

[ Ala stares at Terry like "what's the point of talking to Vassago about this? he already knows" ]

And I'm sick of you, but I'm still not giving up on you.

[ She's going to have rock solid thighs by the end of this, because she stands back up again too, putting her hands under Terry's armpits and trying to get him on his feet. As best as she can with her 5 strength. ]

Being hurt is still better than being empty, after all. Hurt can change, but emptiness is so hard to fill, especially when you have nobody else to help fill it. Emptiness is scary. There's nothing and you're lost and even if you keep moving, you have no idea where you're going or where you're going to end up or if you're actually moving at all.

If you're sick of me, then shouldn't you leave me alone?! I already felt like that for so long!

[ Even if he forgot why, remnants of those feelings still linger the more it gets brought up. Even if he can't understand, he hates it. He hates it so much.

Unfortunately for Ala, he's limp like a tense ragdoll. ]

[ The Boss is such a pain... Ala can't hold Terry up with her hands like longcat, so she's forced to pull him into a hug to keep him sort of propped up, even if his knees have to be bent since he's that much taller. Unlike actual people, she's not warm. She's the Moon, after all, not the Sun. ]

Come on, Boss, don't be like that... I can be sick of someone and still want to try for them. And I want to try, because I think you're important! Vassago is important to me, so the rest of you is too!

[ Terry is sort of the package deal, at this point ]

Even if you're sick of the world and everything in it, a part of you isn't and still wants to hold on. You did all this to be happy, right? So you can live in this world and with all the people around you? You gave up so much so you can be with them, so aren't they very important?

[ Since Terry is up now, Shadow Terry finally got off Terry's back. That's probably why he was so heavy for Ala lol

The Shadow nearly snorts when Ala implies the package deal thing and crosses his arms, watching Terry be a sobbing mess. Terrence is still watching too, in the distance while making Kano dance like a cat. ]

I want to do that, but I can't keep my mind stable... I'll just lash out and almost kill someone that I actually like this time. I was made to be a deficient clone. People aren't supposed to live this long. I'm just so tired. I don't want to do this anymore...

[ lmfao gdi Shadow Terry. Also gdi Terrence. gdi Terry too. All three of them are a mess.

Ala really wants to just drop Terry on the ground because he's still heavy, but he's crying so she can't. All of this really sucks. She hugs him a little tighter. ]

Then take a nap, and enroll in an anger management class. No matter what, you're never alone, Boss. You gotta remember that! If you're tired, you can always pass the baton. Vassago is here. He'll take care of you. So don't completely give up, 'cause there's no coming back from that.

[ The Terrence triplets, and the Shadow is the middle one. May be sane, but also murderous as an act. May actually murder.

Terry looks up at Ala with his tear-stained face since he's being hugged. ]

☀ You're really not that subtle, you know...

[ Shadow Terry plucks Terry from Ala easily. Even without Terry's demigod boosts, it's pretty easy since the Persona and Shadow are more strength-based than anything else. ]

☁ He needs a clearer head, so I'll put him in time out.

[ Ala clasps her hands behind her back now that the weight is gone, and looks up at the Shadow. ]

Hmm... Yeah! It'll be good for him! How many thousand years do you think it'll take?

[ For Terry to stop being so mopey. She's pretty faithless. ]

☁ Hopefully not even a hundred.

[ lol ]

☁ He'd go insane before getting sad, but that's what time out is for. Sit back and relax. Watch and learn. Though I don't know how it'll help his mental state, it's better than stagnating with his hollow self.

[ Terry wants to use his strength to get Vassago to stop holding him up by the back of his collar, but it's no use. His powers are sealed. ]

[ A hundred years is too long too. A week is too long. Ala doesn't want to see Terry go insane, because sane Terry is already plenty scary, in her opinion. ]

Yeah, change is always good, compared to sitting in a pit like that! I hope it works out... Oh! And I'll keep Shuuya away! Since he won't help Boss' mental state either.

[ She knows he drives Terry crazy, but that's just him trying to make sense of things in his own way. Kano can find another play thing for the time being, or just live the rest of his life as a cat like he was originally planning to do, but all this with Terrence is making him reconsider. ]

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