cetana | ten-faced, cetana version.

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ten-faced, cetana version.

I - 11/17: early morning, torii dimension (locked to Sasuke)

[ Terry had been a zombie for several days, and in complete stasis, despite the numerous wounds he was bleeding from that have never healed. It doesn't look like he's been bleeding while here though and he finally opens his eyes for the first time in days. ]

Where am I...?

II - 11/17: afternoon to evening, town

[ Terry lost all his memories. Good thing he and Orien met up. Maybe Sasuke also relayed the basics to him too. Either way, Orien got him a fresh set of clothes after Terry cleaned himself in the bathhouse. He's no longer a bloody mess. Orien is being a good tour guide and telling Terry where everything is, what he did, etc. Orien is treating this like Terry has been leading a normal life here. Don't fuck it up. He has glasses on too, since Orien brought that over as well. ]

III - 11/18: morning, torii (locked to Sasuke)

[ Terry regains all his memories. Everything. It takes so much not to lash out and he's started to feel desperate after experiencing the events on the 17th. He hides in the forest and revisits the torii. Please let him in. ]

IV - 11/19: lockdown, fear floor (limited to 2 people)

[ It's a ruined city. If you've seen Terry's memory floor previously, you'll see that it's the same city as before. However, there is no ongoing destruction. Everything has already happened. You'll see three people: Terrence, who stands at a distance from the other two, Terry who seems shell-shocked by something, and... another Terry? It's Shadow Terry, making a reappearance, grabbing a hold of Terry's collar and yelling at him.

It's a mess already. There's a reason this is the fear floor. ]

V - 11/23-25: black cat house, around town

[ A) Black cat house: There is a big, fluffy samoyed dog in the crane room that's looking down at the 30+ cats and petting them with his paw.

B) Around town: And now there's a big fluffy samoyed dog prancing around town that's petting cats again. Some cats have mixed responses to the petting. If he sees you, he'll give a short howl before staring at you. His omamori is completely hidden in his poofy fur, but if you dig through his fur, you'll see a glimpse or the usual red-brown that peeks through all the white. It's like a collar with a name tag... without the name. ]

VI - 11/28-29: around... town

[ Terry woke up inside Toki's body and he is having such a bad time. You can most likely find him lying down on the ground somewhere in town for one of many reasons. ]

wildcard

[ The following is a summary of what's happening to Terry:

11/17: complete mem loss
11/18: semi mem loss
11/19-22: shadow terry
11/23-25: samoyed terry, lose sense of direction
11/23-27: petting cats
11/28-29: switch bodies with toki

For any questions or anything else, contact me by PM or

celenza ! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Come on, that can't be it. What the hell happened?

[ The urge to punch him is strong. She wanted to punch normal Terry, but she'll punch the Shadow too if she has to. ]

What's all this about sealing and throwing away memories?

The torii in the forest has the power to seal anything away. Terrence brought Terry there after facing your Shadow and asked to seal Terry there forever, but he was unsealed several days later when he came out of ego death.

[ Even for Shadow Terry that was a really ??? moment because he wasn't there during the time when Terry turned into a zombie, but it's not like it mattered since he was in a torii drawer anyway. ]

Then you saw him on that day when he lost all his memories. Then he regained them the next morning and ran back to the torii in a desperate attempt to seal the worse memories away so that he wouldn't go crazy and kill everything before he lost it again. There could have been a better way. He was too weak to face it, so I took over. All of his memories are back while he's in time-out right now because he's unfit to be walking around.

[ The torii... Sasuke told her about that, and about how the spirit there can lock anything away, including people. But locking away memories so he wouldn't go crazy... He must mean Kido's words back in the dungeon— her Shadow's words but they're hers, and he threw them away like her own Shadow wanted to do with Kido's. ]

You locked him back down in the sewers?

[ It wasn't literally the sewers, but Kido looks down at the ground again anyways. It won't be as bad now that it's not wet and gross, and she thinks she can breeze through the dungeon with no major problems anymore, but still. The thought of having to go back to that place... ]

What's time out supposed to solve? It makes no sense to face things all by himself.

He's here.

[ Shadow Terry points to the side of his own head. ]

Putting him in time-out is efficient, because he can sit back and listen to what his friends have to say to him without him killing any one of them. That's what it's supposed to solve. Do you get it now?

Not really...

[ She thinks she sort of gets what the Shadow is doing, but she still isn't convinced it'll help. ]

How's he supposed to talk back, if he's in there? [ She taps a finger to her own head, meaning the Shadow's ] What I have to say to him, I want to say to him, to his face and not hiding behind yours.

[ Personas and Shadows are of the same coin, a mask worn to protect the host, but this isn't a mask. It's like talking to a secretary who promises to pass along a message. ]

Then I guess I'll have to skip you and talk to someone else then. I won't let him come out until he's learned how to deal with this.

[ Shadow Terry turns around to leave. ]

Other people have been talking to the secretary...?

[ Why... Kido follows along after Shadow Terry, like she assumes they're just going to take a walk together while they continue talking, not that he's exasperated with her and is ditching. ]

What are the things he needs to deal with? If it's a problem I caused, talking to somebody else about it is going to do little good.

[ He gives Kido another look for calling him a secretary before continuing on to the convenience store. ]

He'll listen. He's hearing this right now. How would you deal with an insane person? You usually wouldn't want to. They break for a reason. If I let him out, he'll destroy everything and everyone and himself to go along with it. I'm not interested in letting him die.

[ ... ]

Wouldn't it be better for you anyway if he was out of your life? Why do you even bother when he almost killed you willingly this time? Is this something like the time when I told you that you could live if you leave alone, but you won't go without him and then you die for it?

[ This is one of the many things she wants to say to Terry's face, not his secretary. ]

No. Because you won't let him die.

[ The last time was desperation, her believing that if she didn't do something, Terry will die. The Shadow standing in front of her back then and right now is at least an aspect of him; but if he dies, she won't ever see him again, any part of it. ]

I'm pissed about what happened, but that's just how things are. People fight. I've gotten into arguments with my siblings bad enough that I hated them for days and tried to beat them to death. I still love them. It's not like you can't hate and love somebody at the same time... Maybe it's because he didn't have siblings, but he has a family now and he's stupid to think it'll go smoothly all the time. The only difference between him and me is that he has a magic bow and I have my fists.

[ The intent to kill was real. When she gets pissed enough, it still is. ]

He hoped it would have gone smoothly, because nothing went right before.

[ Shadow Terry enters the convenience store and leisurely makes his way to the beverage section to get a bottle of cold lemonade. ]

Have you considered why he'd rather die? Or does that not matter to you?

[ Because if he sees that it doesn't, he won't say anything. ]

Because the world's a shitshow and it's the only way he can get out of it.

[ Since she's already here, she might as well pick up something too, looking over the selection of candy on the aisle next to the beverages. ]

He's told me about it. Thousands of years of being forced to kill people he doesn't want to kill. People who hate him trying to kill him all the time. The people he loves inevitably die and leave him alone again. Orien—

[ Oh. She glances over at Shadow Terry, and then back to the candy. Whatever. Whether or not Orien wanted to keep it a secret he'd talked about Terry with her, sorry. She grabs a bag of peach gummies. ]

Orien said he hated himself, and he hated the world. It's no wonder, after all that. Then he comes back here and with the whole Shadow thing, I more or less kick him in the balls when he's already down. So, no wonder. I can't believe he thinks nothing went right before, though. That really pisses me off. However short a time it was for him compared to everything else, my time with him meant a lot to me. And I'm selfish, so even if I get why he wants to die, I don't want him to.

[ It's really no secret when he's a part of Terry, and Shadow Terry would have to agree. ]

It's that thing where you focus on a single negative while ignoring all the positives. It wasn't like that before. I'm sure you know that too. He was pretty torn about the three of you dying.

[ Shadow Terry pays for his bottle of lemonade and opens it immediately to drink it. That's some real good lemonade. Delicious. ]

I'm glad that you more or less understand, because I think the same.

If you think so, then he also thinks so, in some capacity, right? That's how it was for my Shadow. Those were my thoughts and feelings no matter whose mouth it came out of, but I'm the one who decides whether those thoughts and feelings are right or wrong. And that time, I was wrong.

[ It's the same with Terry. He's chosen to believe his Shadow is wrong.

Kido sticks the candy in her hoodie pocket after purchasing it, and watches Shadow Terry down the lemonade. ]

...Are you eating properly? That's still his body, isn't it? You'd better take care of it.

He doesn't eat much in the first place, so it'll be fine.

[ The lemonade is just what the Shadow likes... lol. ]

There's still a small part of him aside from me that doesn't want to do this. If he didn't care at all, he wouldn't have tried to throw away his memories at the last minute.

As long as you're eating, because that doesn't count.

[ It's not fine... She hopes he's not living off lemonade. ]

This whole Shadow business and throwing away his memories is him making things tougher on himself, not easier. Find the part of him that cares, and nurture it. You're him, so the bulk of the legwork falls on you.

[ And talking to people and getting their opinions isn't the same as soul searching his non-existent soul. ]

He listens to other people more than himself or any part of himself.

[ So he'll have to disagree with Kido on that part at least. ]

I'm out here for a reason, and it's definitely not doing that.

He doesn't listen to me.

[ Terry??? She's complained about so much and he doesn't listen to her. She doesn't believe this. ]

He was horribly whipped to you.

[ when your other self calls you out and you can't do anything about it ]

I— he was not!

[ ...He sort of was, now that she thinks about it, but he shouldn't be. ]

If he didn't want to do something, he could say no and I wouldn't be mad! [ ... ] For that long!

He already knows you get mad over a bunch of stuff.

[ He's just saying all this like it doesn't affect him, because it doesn't. ]

But that's not why he's totally whipped.

[ lol ]

Would be nice if he could just submit regarding this though.

[ Kido huffs, already getting mad and proving the Shadow's point. It sure would be nice if she could yell Terry into getting over this, that's for sure. ]

Yeah, it would. But he doesn't need to listen to me. I just want him to be able to talk to me without being scared of me.

He's not scared of you. He's never been scared of you.

[ He sighs and downs some more lemonade. ]

He's scared of you rejecting him.

It's the same thing. Being scared of me rejecting him, being scared of me hitting him or yelling at him, it means he's scared of me.

[ He really is like an only child. He's like how she used to be when she was really little terrified of people hating her and rejecting her even after she'd met her sister who said she wouldn't. It would have been nice if Terry could grow up in a family like hers; Kano would definitely drive Terry crazy, but he'd get along with Seto and Mary and he'll get to see that people fight and reject each other and come back. Thousands of years. She refuses to believe he's never argued with Orien or Lily. ]

...You did your best to drive me away last time, didn't you? You told me everything he was afraid to tell me, thinking they're things I would reject him for if I knew. That's not what I was most mad about; it was the fact that I had to hear it from you. Coming back those two times, after everything you did to me and everybody else who came to see you, it was stupid. But I don't regret coming back. He's done so many stupid things, but I'm still standing here talking to you. So why is he still afraid?

Don't know.

[ He did argue with Orien and Lily, but never to this scale of things... To the point people rejected his right to live. Shadow Terry begins wondering if Kido actually realizes the weight of all this and how rejection like the one her Shadow threw at him is a lot heavier than a petty argument as to whether ionized salt should be bought or not. ]

You can ask him when he comes back out, whenever that's going to be.

If you're a part of him, how do you not know?

[ It feels like he's dodging, which makes her /:
Of course she knows that her Shadows was a bigger deal than ionized salt, which was also an argument she was prepared to throw down for. But if she's just going to get "don't know"s from the Shadow, she'd rather talk to Terry himself, whenever that's going to be. ]

It'd better be soon. There's a lot going on right now, and I want him to be a part of it too.

ten-faced, cetana version.

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